Life Of An Oddball: September 2014

An Ode to the Society That Nearly Destroyed Me....

have you ever asked yourself ?

how people tend to label us for what we do...

how they label us when we feel we are doing the right thing....

how the society judge us,

and look at us for how we think, or what we believe in...

for years I had been suffering,

for years I had kept quiet,

the society wrecked my mind,

they clouded my judgements,

they poisoned my soul,

they have done everything they could,

trying their best to destroy what I was inside,

in order to create a “new” me,

based on their thoughts and expectations,

for years i wept inside,

assuming the Truth doesn’t exist,

wondering why people are tormenting me,

for all the good things I tried to do,

whenever tried I do good things,

people said I had hidden agendas,

they said I do good things with evil intentions,

when I saved stray animals or feed them,

people said I was trying to gain cheap publicity,

when I talked about human trafficking and sexual slavery,

people said my mind was filled with dirty things,

when I told them I avoid pornography,

people said I am going to become a monk,

when I befriend gay guys,

people said I was curious about my own sexuality,

when I befriend lesbian girls,

people said no girls want me,

so I am trying my luck with lesbians,

when I befriend Atheists,

people said I am going to become a demon like them,

and they claim I will go to hell,

when I stopped going to temples here locally,

because I felt it was rather a money minded institution,

people claim I couldn’t see or feel God’s presence,

because my mind was filled with sinful thinking,

when I read ancient texts,

they said I was pretending to be saintly,

when I loved my parents unconditionally,

they said I was trying to impress my parents,

because their wealth was important to me,

they said if my parents were poor folks,

I would have left them long ago,

when I did my TESL degree,

people said that was an easy course,

and they said I wasn’t smart to become a doctor or an engineer,

they said...

they said I was wrong,

they said they were right,

because I didn’t do things which satisfied their beliefs,

because I didn’t do things according to social norms,

they said I was disobeying the Truth,

they said the Truth is angry with me,

because I have done something bad against the Truth,

I suffered because the society clouded my judgements,

I was rather living a life trying to please others,

but Truth never kept quiet,

Truth knew the time was coming,

to put an end to my suffering,

and then it came out of nowhere,

now I know the Truth is within me,

nobody would understand me,

the society would never understand me,

but I don’t mind,

because I know that the Truth alone understands me,

nothing but happiness,

nothing but love,

nothing but peace of mind,

I am now living a beautiful life......

I don’t believe in race....

I don’t believe in religion...

I don’t believe in nations...

I don’t believe in sexual orientation...

I don’t believe in any man made barriers...

I believe in a supreme soul,

that resides within all of us,

feel the Truth within,

talk to the Truth within,

observe every moment of your life,

and realise that everything is connected,

we are all connected,

and we are all part of this beautiful universe...

My God is love, and sweetly suffers all......

I am...Mr Green Fingers

I love gardening....
I love plants...
I love nature...
Flowers, they just make me smile...

Sharing some photos of flowers and plants at my humble home....

Life is beautiful :)

this is very true...gardening did help me to bury the bitter times of my life

Little Buddha pond at home, this water plant flowered for the first time :)

white lotus at home, my mom planted it 9 years ago, still flowering....

have different types of roses at home, but this "kampung" variety is my favorite

water lily pond in front of the balcony, along with statues of the divine serpent and a shiv lingam...p/s no prayers done here, it's just part of my home's garden deco

mr bee is enjoying the nectar !!

a very rare orchid...

my favorite variety of orchid, that flowers throughout the year...

pink lotus at home

orange jessamine flowers, the fragrance is haunting, and they attract a lot of butterflies in the evening....

7 years back, something horrible happened in my life, and due to depression and stress, i gained weight despite eating moderately, tests after tests were done at hospital, some doctors blamed my liver was not functioning well, some said my blood lacked iron, all sort of nonsense....

till last year, i recalled i was around 135kg, yep, super fat, and my waist size was 50 inches...i knew it was time something had to be done, if not i might lose a precious life gifted to me, and so, the self realisation phase started in my life last December, i became a vegetarian, i started to do yoga and dwelled more into meditation....

on this journey, i began to understand that our body is rather a temple, and that God, or the force of creation resides within all of us, and being a spiritual guy, i began to get connected to the God within me, and slowly, transformation began....

Now, my weight is 90kg, yes, i lost 45kg, and currently my waist size is 40 inches, i had changed the way i think, i have full control over my appetite and sleep, so many changes that people around me began to notice....

And i joined the gym last month, became so addicted to workout, that i guess in another two months time, i will be back to my old self, i don't wish to have six packs, i don't wish to become muscular, i just wish to become the old beautiful me, slim and well toned....

This journey, or i would say the self realisation phase of my life gave me many insights about life, changed the way i see things, made me remove all the unnecessary negative minded humans from my life....

life is beautiful, and i am a happy oddball, living amidst the chaotic society, in a beautiful universe filled with love :)

by the way, here are some pics of the gym i had joined