This post was supposed to be last month, yes, our 4th anniversary was more than a month back, but somehow I was just too busy with many things, there was barely time for me to simply sit down in front of the laptop to update this blog, just busy living life, just busy enjoying being alive, as in living every moment of life, creating memories together with Bee, plus we have officially become a parent to two furkids, adopted two kittens from the local animal shelter, so yeah, besides me checking on the stock market and doing other things, we have a new responsibility of taking care and loving two kittens at our home, so life is even more exciting for both of us now :)
It has been 4 years plus, can't believe how time flies, it was just like yesterday we had lunch together at that 7 Eleven nearby Bee's first workplace, and after 4 years of going through so many phases through life, the happy moments, the sad ones, the hardships, it still feels like just yesterday I fell in love with my ah beng, it's kinda hard for me to explain, let's just say that I love him more and more as time passes by, I fall in love with him every single day as a new day rises and the night follows where we cuddle to sleep.
But, was this relationship perfect ? Nope, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, believe me folks, yes, we are happy, we are in love with each other, but were we smiling all the time without any issues ? I don't think so, see, like I have said many times, relationships aren't fairytales, you can't expect it to be perfect, and you should never expect your other half or yourselves to be perfect, why ? Because end of the day, we are all human beings, nobody in this planet is perfect, each and every one of us would definitely have some flaws here and there. So, many of our single friends often ask me why both of us are so happy, some of them even say that they're jealous of us both, especially with all the things I share on Instagram, but the thing is, there were times we had little fights, there were times we were angry with each other, there were times we didn't talk to each other for a day or two, but end of the day, we never gave up on each other.
Yes, we do fight, sometimes I become mad at him, sometimes Bee becomes mad at me, but the thing is, we didn't fight like super crazy lah, like how some couples simply fight for no reason, and one more thing, we never had misused the word "breakup" simply before, never ever. Being angry is one thing, being irrational is another thing. I can't really understand why some couples, whenever they fight for the smallest of issues, suddenly say they want to breakup, like, are you people aware that when you use that word, you're literally becoming toxic to your other half and emotionally blackmailing them ? Get mad at each other, that's totally fine, be quiet for a day or two, that is also okay, but never resort to emotional blackmailing, especially when you know that your other half truly loves you.
Relationships aren't easy, but it's worth it. We need to be understanding, we need to have patience, we need to have empathy, and most importantly, a happy relationship requires both parties to work together to build a solid foundation with love and trust, if it is one sided, then it would be a tough road ahead. Lately, I have come to know that few of the couples within our circle broke up after being together for few years, and it saddened me very much, as I really love to see two souls being together in love. But after giving a thought on that, I have realised that majority of break ups are caused by expectations. Expectations, yes, they can cause heartache, but when we have an expectation on a person, we should understand one thing, they are not us, like I said before, everyone on this planet is different, nobody's the same, if you want a guy who's just like you, then you love yourself and stay single forever, senang cerita, the problem is, many of us create unnecessary expectations on our other half, assuming they're like us, assuming they think like us, and literally believing that they can read our mind. I hate to break this but, sometimes, expectations on others can not only cause a heartache on yourself, but it can also be a burden on those you love, relationship is built on unconditional love and care, so when you have expectation on how a person should treat you, believe me, you will not be treated genuinely, the person would probably feel stressed knowing you have a lot of expectations on them, and end of the day, both of you won't be happy.
When it comes to unconditional love in a relationship, even sex should be unconditional, I don't know why but many of our friends think that we have sex almost every single night, the truth is, intimacy can be in many forms, it's not always about sex, yes, sex is important, but there are also other aspects in a relationship that makes the bond stronger besides physical intimacy. Many of our friends complained to me, they said that their boyfriends don't have sex with them often, so they assume their boyfriends are cheating on them, why ? Just recently, a friend of mine told me that he suspects his boyfriend is cheating on him, the reason given, no sex for two weeks, just two weeks and this fella already came up with a story in his mind that his boyfriend is cheating on him, I was just laughing, I mean, two weeks ? I even had a friend who complained to me that his guy doesn't want to have sex with him for more than a year, and he was seeking my advice on how to resolve the bedroom issue. At times, I believe most of us never really reflect on a situation properly. First, our bf/other half/partner, they're human, they think differently, they would even have different views on what love/ sex is, sometimes they can even be tired, sometimes they won't even be in the mood, so, would it be good for us to simply accuse them without being understanding ?
I even came across few of our friends who told me that they're no longer in a monogamous relationship because their other half wants to be in an open relationship. This thing is rather complex, at times I would just keep quite and just listen to what my friends have to say without giving them any advice. I mean, why do some people want to be in a relationship, if they can't be loyal to one person ? Might as well be single kan ? Why do some people want to drag along others into the shit they create ? Ask yourself this question, if you people are into open relationship, first of all, are you people okay if your other half treats your exactly the same like how you people treat them ? The funny thing is, most of the people I had come across, they don't mind cheating on their other half, but they want their other half to be loyal to them, like what the flying F ? Bodoh ke apa ? Before you people do something to others, remember to ask yourself first, how would you feel if you were treated the same ? Open relationship it seems, kalau gatal sangat, please stay single and don't stress other people with your shitty self.
A happy relationship requires a lot of work, it's not easy, but it's worth it, especially when you have that special someone in your life to age gracefully together, to support each other, and to make beautiful memories together.
Happy 4th anniversary Bee, love you always <3
Kopi <3 Susu
tried to upload something notti for the first time, see if the video works or not, haha !! XD
