The Test

Bee went back to his parents home early for Chinese New Year, and since his birthday fell on the second day of CNY,  I have decided to surprise him and celebrate when he comes back home, besides, we have already spend the Valentine's day together, so I was rather happy that Bee could spend time with his parents for his birthday this year. 

Like the years before, I was fasting on Bee's birthday to seek blessings from Goddess Guan Yin, as I had taken an oath and promised Her that I would fast on his birthdays till I am around in this world, and I believe She would bless him with good health and strengthen our relationship by partaking in such sadhana. 

But somehow, this year, being the third time I was fasting for him, I had encountered a series of "test", something I wasn't prepared for, but somehow I managed to pass it. 

The night before the fast, I did the usual thing I would do before partaking in a sadhana the next day, drank plenty of plain water, ate fruits, and since it was the first day of CNY, I have decided to be on a vegetarian diet. As I prepared to sleep early that night, I noticed there was a slight pain under the right foot, and I assumed it was probably a foot ache caused by the heavy squat I did at the gym few days earlier, and it would go away the next day.

But I was very much wrong. 

The next day, I woke up with a severe pain under the right foot, and I could barely walk or even stand up, I was just there lying on the bed wondering what happened, and how am I going to fast on that day with such pain. It must have been an injury due to bad form while doing squats. 

I was rather sad, of all the days, why should it be on Bee's birthday, but I was determined. I remembered there were few tablets of diclofenac in the kitchen, and I know they can be taken on empty stomach, but I didn't as I was afraid of getting gastric, and planned to take it at night later after breaking fast. 

First thing first, at 8am, I tried to get up, but the pain was immense, somehow I managed to drag myself into the bathroom for shower, and later "crawled" slowly towards the altar in the living room to pray. 

I stayed on the bed for the rest of the day, but didn't sleep, couldn't as the pain was bothering, but I was lucky that the pain didn't get any worse, nor there weren't any signs of swelling on the foot. Bee was messaging me but never told him what happened as I didn't want him to worry about me. 

It was already 7pm, dragged myself into the bathroom for another round of quick shower, then slowly walked to the altar and offered prayers. Made my way to the kitchen, it really felt like an eternity walking with such painful condition, or I would say crawling slowly while being supported by the walls. Thinking about it, I was feeling grateful that I wasn't being born with any disabilities, and that the pain is after all, temporary. 

Break fast at 8pm with few grapes, and ate bread, then slowly crawled back to the living room sofa, sat there for a while and recited few Buddhist sutras. The pain began to subside slowly, and I went to bed early that night. 

Glad I managed to fast despite the painful condition, perhaps it was a test from above, but everything happens for a reason, and I'm grateful that the pain reminded me of how lucky I'm compared to those who suffer from diseases in this world, plus, the fasting itself is a reminder that I have someone special in my life, a blessing I'm thankful for to the heavenly beings.

Namo Amitabha